Oh My Lord. Did I actually write that I needed something to talk about at my next CPN vist? I think if I was looking for an expression to describe the days since my last blog it would be WTF!
Anyhow, I have been feeling a little down but thought I better cover that to stop people worrying –
I have just had a chat with my mum about this, my Father has Depression, and she says this is worse, you need to tell your support and/or your family that this is going on so they don’t get this horrendous bolt out of the blue when the crash occurs.
Then I was feeling a little hyper (well more like a superhero – just need the pants) and to cut along story short blacked out on Wednesday evening in a back lane, luckily with my Husband, spent six hours in A & E getting x-rayed, cleaned up and conversations around bi-polar and managing my condition etc.
I am black and blue.
I feel like an idiot.
But, I don’t feel the guilt that I usually carry. I know this was an accident although it could have been prevented with talking through feelings and medication for the hypomania.
I am sorry it happened, I am grateful to the NHS again for their time and patience, I feel so bad for my husband who again with his ongoing good humour has picked me up and carried my literally and figuratively over this bump. And the kind words from my friends has helped, so has (surprisingly for me) sharing on Facebook and now by this blog. I am determined to get the face of Bi-Polar out there, to create understanding and empathy if not support.We must praise and support the partners, family, friends and health professionals who continuously shape their lives to fit into ours.
I texted my CPN on Thursday morning (don’t worry it’s his work phone – I haven’t started stalking him yet!) and we received three phone calls checking in and have an early appointment with him on Tuesday coming. I am lucky to have this support – I received a CPN for the first time in my life afer my breakdown in April and I do believe this has helped with my ongoing if not recovery but the management of my condition, the acceptance of taking medication (will still do a blog post on that eventually) and also understanding about who I am.
Anyhow, I have attached a picture of my lovely face which I have been told will heal in about three weeks however it is what it is, and nowt can be done so think I shall go and knit a hedgehog and start sketching my Jeremy painting…..
Good Mental Health – Aly